I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
