I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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