whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
