Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize