im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
