just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
