I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
