member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
