I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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