I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize