I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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