I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize