You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize