mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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