In the future we'll all be gay
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
