I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
