you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
