you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
