This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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