i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
