Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
