you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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