Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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