and you said cock pushups were impossible
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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