in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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