I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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