the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
