thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You left your phone here
Wait...
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