Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
