please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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