A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
