I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
