The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
