Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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