Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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