Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize