Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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