Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
