If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
