he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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