I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
