hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
