There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
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You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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