I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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