they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
