Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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