Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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