I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
