Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
