People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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