I just gift wrapped bread.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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