There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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