Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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