I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
