May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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