PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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