Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
everyone is single if you try hard enough
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
