She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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